You see, the only benefit of all the hype surrounding the turn of a calendar year, is that it allows even the closest of minds, to grasp the concept of a new beginning. In actual fact, we have a new beginning every month, every week, nay every hour & minute. And those with successes in 2011 grasped this fact, that is their secret. They understood the importance of seizing the day, and making each hour count, instead of just sitting back & expecting things to happen just because they wished it so. Good wishes aren’t enough, if they were, fountains would be filled with coins of varying monetary value. In the words of Dr. Kelso, “you’ve got to get up off your keister, and start doing the work.”

So this year, I wish the best for you. This year, I hope you find/continue in love, joy, and peace. This year, I hope you don’t limit yourself in your thoughts, or by your actions (or lack thereof). This year I hope you get/continue on the road to being the winner you were created to be. This year I hope you discover a new you, the best you yet.

Happy New Year.

Happy New You.

Note: As with all wisdom, this post isn’t just for the start of the year, it is for those times when you may lose focus, hope, when you go off-track, and need to be reminded how to get back on it. Positivity is for life, not just for the 1st of Jan.

The year that brought us #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen

The year of 4 deaths, 3 funerals, 2 engagements, and 1 wedding

The year of the baby that was, then wasn’t…

The year I conceded that women aren’t from Mars – they’re from Pluto… and formed the majority of the committee that relegated it to a minor planet

The year of 1s… J

The year when our prayers against the dictatorships in the world began to manifest

A year of stretching

The year when I learnt to be softer

The year when I learnt to be tougher

The year when I saw the future…

The year when the high of the MOBOs, was inverted by the news of a dear leader

Another year of insight into self

A year of charm…

A difficult year…

A year of products

A year of productivity

A year of GoodNights…

A year of good times…

A year of strength…

A year of “keep-it-together-ability”…

I pray that our bad experiences serve as the best teachers, and that our good experiences serve as great motivators.

The future is ours… to make of it whatever we will. And in truth, the next minute you get, is the future, and is a new beginning.

Happy New You. 

Happy 2012 and beyond.

I love Love… but Love doesn’t seem to love me yet
I see lust, and it seduces me with its promise of ‘now’
It tempts me with the desires of ‘here’
But I love Love, and I’ll wait for her

I love Wisdom, I regard her highest of all
Her embrace is warmest, her grace is most exalted
Though foolishness draws me in with its guise of quick results
Yet and still, I love Wisdom, and I’ll wait with her

I love Truth, for she never holds me to ransom
She presents herself wholly, simply, beautifully
Her curves and contours, I’m blessed to behold
So with her hand in mine, I walk with her

I love Peace, with her quiet yet mighty ways
Her words comfort me, when no one else’s can
And though worry may sashay across the corridors of my mind
I will turn to Peace, for she will keep me sane

I love Joy, for she is the brightest of all
Her smile, her laughter, propel me to heights afar
I know not of any reason, to deny myself of her
So I lay with her every night, happy to wake with her the morning after

I love Love, for she makes me feel like no other
Her caress, her kiss, her work, intoxicate me
She devotes her being to me, and I to her
I love Love, and Love does love me.

There was only one rumour that that could have been referring to; the one that anyone with a searching mind would have considered at some point in the past two years or more, but would have discarded just as quickly. I frantically opened up a new tab on my still-open browser, and typed in ‘Steve Jobs’… nothing conclusive on the first few results that Google returned… ah, the online ninjas that update Wikipedia had been at work – ‘(February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011)’. But no, my Comp Sci department at uni didn’t take Wikipedia as a reliable source, and nor would I. Back to Twitter, and another friend had quoted the Wikipedia dates; ‘still not good enough’ I thought. I opened up a new tab, ‘cnn.com’. Scrolled up and down, nothing, DAMN IT! Considered running downstairs to turn on TV, but knew that couldn’t be as fast the internet. Back to Twitter, and someone had RTed @TIME… damn, that WAS a reliable source, but I needed to read it for myself… back to CNN’s website, and after a few more seconds, there it was on the banner across the top, the confirmation. I stared at it for a few seconds disbelievingly… and then back to Twitter, where the news was beginning to filter through to my Followings around London, the UK, and the world… and one by one the expressions of sadness and  <140-char eulogies trickled, then poured through. After about 20 minutes there was no doubt –  2011 had claimed its “biggest” casualty yet.

Anyone who knows me, knows about my tendency for Apple-bashing. This is not quite the same as bible-bashing, which I think I also do. I have always had a problem with the marketing strategies employed by Apple, and before I “knew” him, I had always suspected the motives of the creator of the products that were the object of these highly successful ad campaigns. However since another friend introduced me last year, to his speech to Stanford University graduates hosted on TED Talk, I began to form a better picture of this man.

I realised that he was intelligent, and wise. I’m not talking book-smart (which in a sense he wasn’t what with being a drop-out) but real smart, the kind of smart that gets you to the top of a Mafia family without having to kill anyone. He understood cause-and-effect; and he lived for the effect he could have on the world. I also saw that he was hard-working. Now everybody knows that hard work, and being smart, often equals success.  But thirdly, and most importantly, I saw BELIEF. I saw a belief in himself that was so immense as to effectively edge out any doubt, but also so pure that it didn’t cause him to lose the common touch. Judging by his words in this address, he understood the nature of life, of purpose, and the importance of devoting one’s days whole-heartedly to both. And it paid off. When I first started studying computing, I was told about Charles Babbage. When my kids start studying it, they will no doubt be told about Steve Jobs.

My job affords me the opportunity of meeting people from all over the world, and I love this about it. One afternoon I met a young man from the U.S. He was a Mac specialist. He was having some problems connecting to our network, and needed some help, so my colleague and I went to see him. We spent no more than three minutes talking to him about tech in general, and Macs. He showed us a few things, and as I left him, I wanted to be a Mac-guy and get Mac and Apple products.  I have since repented, but that day it was just that simple.

I was prompted to write this because I am realising that there is something REALLY deep, and quite spiritual about Mr. Jobs’ philosophies. Amongst other things, he clearly understood that what is within, and unseen, is more important than what is without, and seen. He sought out what people needed, and gave it to them, before they even knew they needed it – something to believe in, that makes their world better, and more together.

Wherever you are Mr Jobs, I salute you. It has been long since the death of a public figure has gripped me like yours has. Maybe my emotions are finally coming out now, because like the primary-school girl that I punched because I really liked, I am now realising how I really felt about you, now that you’ve left the school of life, never to visit again. Or maybe it’s because in death, your life has managed to make a convert of me, much like my Lord’s did.

A General among Geeks

It started from a behavioural observation that I made several months ago, and that still bears truth today. It’s not that profound, but I find it saddening all the same – people are scared of friendships.

What I mean is that people are scared about opening up their hearts to another human being, for fear of the hurt that may arise from that. Now on the surface, this may seem normal, acceptable, and even wise; after all, we have doors in front of our houses because we don’t want just anybody entering them. But what about the people we call friends, are THEY allowed entry? I can already see the list of conditions that will go with an answer in the affirmative. So let me rephrase my “discovery” – we are fearful sometimes of opening up to the people we call friends. And as a self-confessed questioner of behaviours, I wonder, “Why?”

Past hurts are at the top of most people’s lists. Possible future hurts are the only other thing that may tussle with that for first place. In fact, I will go so far as to claim that these are the only two reasons that matter. They are certainly the only two reasons that I want to deal with. I can hear a minority voice piping up with a third reason, accompanied by a suitable shrug – “I don’t feel the need to, no one needs to know about me” or “No one understands me”. But to those, permit me to suggest that it seems you don’t fully understand that you were made to relate with others. Part of your success in life, is the success of your friends and friendships. The reverse is also true.

So we are left with hurts, both the realised, and the expected. My Pastor, Dr. Tayo Adeyemi, has spoken a few times about dealing with past hurts, and you can get in touch at  www.newwine.co.uk or via Twitter @NewWineLondon to request messages regarding the family and other relationships. He teaches principles, so what you learn can be applied to family members, work colleagues, high-school friends, etc.  When thinking about past hurts, I have learnt to ask for healing continuously (being the son of a God who heals). I have also remembered some words I read many years ago, before I would ever need them. To paraphrase, ‘In life, do not be like the cat who sat on a hot stove; it is true that she will never again sit on a hot stove, but then she will never sit on a cold one either.’ (For any QuoteHeads, I believe Mark Twain phrased it originally).

As for future hurts, my first answer is to put away pessimism. There was a time in my life when I (apparently suddenly) became a pessimist. Furthermore, I believed that that was the only way to be. People wonder why I find it so easy to smile, and try to spread cheer. It is because I’ve been the opposite before – there was a time when I sincerely and whole-heartedly believed that there wasn’t much point to life, and I constantly sabotaged myself at every opportunity. Now that may seem a far cry from what may seem a legitimate fear that someone somewhere, will hurt you badly, but trust me the two are close relatives. So rather than ‘fear’, why not try ‘concern’? The difference is this: one is a paralysing energy that stops you from enjoying good things because when you weigh the pros against the cons, the cons always seem heavier and always likely to break the scale. The other is a balanced state of mind that means if you have reason to, you will tread carefully, and avoid the potholes and pits that you didn’t see last time. But you will still go on the journey, because you know it is good and necessary.

I love life. And as often as I can, I choose it. Because one of things that life is, is an opportunity; an opportunity to be and help others become; to give and to receive; to do and to have done for you. Life is not just about us, it’s about those around us, and we should always be conscious of this. That is not to say that relating is risk-free, because as we all know, it isn’t. But if the risk is managed right, then the only things that our friendships will costs us, are selfishness, pride, loneliness, misery, and other vices. And I hope you’ll agree that those are wonderful things to lose, even if there wasn’t strength, validation, humility, peace, joy, and a host of other virtues to be gained.

In closing, I leave you with this thought: our friends can indirectly tell us about ourselves. Because we usually attract and are attracted to two kinds of people – people who are like us, and people who we want to be like.

I believe it contains so much truth, and that in doing everything it says, you will really see your life change for the better, and those around you will do too. I hope you benefit from this. See you on the road to fulfilment.

The Psalmist prayed, ‘Revive us, and we will call upon Your name.’ (Psalm 80:18)

Almost a century ago, A. W. Tozer laid out the steps that lead to personal revival. Some of the language may be outdated, but the principles still work today.

(1)   Get thoroughly dissatisfied with yourself. Complacency is the enemy of spiritual progress. A complacent soul is a stagnant soul.

(2)   Set your face like a flint towards a sweeping transformation of your life. Timid experimenters are tagged for failure before they start. We must throw our whole soul into our desire for God.

(3)   Put yourself in the way of blessing. It’s a mistake to expect God’s help to come as a windfall apart from conditions known and met. There are plainly marked paths which lead straight to the green pastures; let us walk in them. To desire revival, for instance, and at the same time neglect prayer and devotions, is to wish one way and walk another.

(4)   Do a thorough job of repenting. Do not hurry to get it over with. Hasty repentance means shallow spiritual experience and lack of certainty in the whole life. Let godly sorrow do her healing work. Until we allow the consciousness of sin to wound us, we will never develop a fear of evil.

(5)    Make restitution wherever possible. If you owe a debt, pay it, or at least have a frank understanding with your creditor about your intention to pay, so your honesty will be above question. If you have quarrelled with anyone, go as far as you can in an effort to achieve reconciliation.

(6)    Bring your life into accord with such scriptures as are designed to instruct us in the way of righteousness. An honest man with an open Bible, a pad and a pencil, is sure to find out what is wrong with him very quickly. I recommend that self-examination be made on your knees, rising to obey God’s commandments as they are revealed to us.

(7)     Be serious-minded. You can well afford to see fewer shows on TV. Unless you can break away, every spiritual impression will continue to be lost to your heart. The world used to go to the movies to escape serious thinking about God. You would not join them there, but you now enjoy spiritual communion with them in your own home. The devil’s ideals, moral standards and mental attitudes are being accepted by you without your knowledge.

(8)     Deliberately narrow your interests. Too many projects use up time and energy without bringing us nearer to God.

(9)    Have faith in God. Begin to expect. Look up toward the throne where your advocate sits at the right hand of God. All of heaven is on your side. God will not disappoint you.’

The Psalmist writes, ‘Restore us… and we shall be saved!’ (Psalm 80:19 NKJV). You say, ‘Saved from what?’ From ourselves! Saved from the influences that pull us away from God and towards this world. Saved to fulfil the purposes for which we have been redeemed and called into His kingdom. If you desire it, you can have a personal revival.

Please note, I lay NO claims to any of the content on here. None of it is mine, it is all from UCB, I have merely formatted it a bit differently for easier reading. The original format can be viewed here and their work can be followed via their website www.ucb.co.uk, on Facebook or via Twitter @UCBMedia. No Google+ account as at time of publishing :-p.

The book is called “No Sex Please We’re Single”, and it’s written by Ian Stuart Gregory. I found it to be a strangely delightful book. Delightful because it discusses most, if not all of the feelings and frustrations that have become synonymous with the Christian Dating scene in most parts of the world; and this is strange because I also tire of just TALKING about these “issues”, yet his book didn’t repel me. No, far from that, the book annoyed, angered, broke, built, challenged, changed, cut, demolished, excited, fascinated, found, guilt-tripped, tempted, taught, reconciled, and strengthened me.

The book is categorised into three parts – Singleness and the Church, Why We Are Still Single, and The Dating Game. And trust me, whatever you may think about the above, Mr. Gregory does well to lay out as many opinions as possible, as well as his, with the main aim being to make life easy and simple for those who have found it hard or difficult due to their lack of happiness in this area. He comes from a knowing and understanding point of view (writing the book whilst being single but with “experience”), but he is in no way patronising or pity-inducing.

He writes the book for singles, but married people who would like to mentor single people, as well as pastors, ministers, youth workers and the like, can all benefit something from it. I think I should make an important note here though: you will not agree with everything he says – at least I didn’t – but wisdom tells us never to throw away the baby with the bathwater.

And lastly, the other thing that I found impressive about the book, is that even though it was first published in 1997, a lot of the attitudes and mindsets that he discusses, are still prevalent today. And a lot of the trends that his statistics indicate as rising, have done just that. In that sense, it is also somewhat prophetic…  And did I mention some “lol” moments on public transport because of it? Not bad for less than 200 pages huh?!

My copy, the first edition. A newer edition with a different cover is also available.

I really liked this book because amongst other things, it helped me sort out some misconceptions I had in my mind, and also EN-COURAGEd me.

I would recommend it to EVERYONE. I mean EVERYONE! I am still contemplating whether or not to spam my friends on Twitter (and maybe Facebook) with a link to it, but please, if you haven’t got anything else you’re reading at the moment, or if you haven’t read a book on the subject in a while, then do pick it up, and afterwards, let’s talk! I believe we’ll be able to learn much from each other, not just about each other but about ourselves, when we share such experiences. If you have read it, then I would love to hear what you thought (good or bad) about it (no “spoilers” please though, for those who haven’t!).

New and used copies are available for cheap from Amazon, or Abebooks.co.uk.

Many thanks and much love

Yinka

P.S. I tried to find out what Mr Gregory is up to these days, but I couldn’t. And by that I mean Google couldn’t. Yea I said it. So if anyone knows, please get in touch also – would really like to know how he’s doing now.

P.P.S No, I’m not sure either why I’ve written this in letter format… But my heart felt comfortable with it, and if it’s happy, then I’m happy

Questions I have include:

“Who comes top?” “Why?”
“How should the students pray about their exam?”
“Can the students know who God wants to top the class?”
“Does any of the above matter?” “If not, why not?”

Planning – I am learning how to ride a motorbike

Realisation – I know how to ride a motorbike

Investment – I have bought and now own a motorbike

Said I under my breath in reply/contemplation, “So is salvation, but look how many turn THAT down!”